naughty non profit

theduty: office rumor.

Sat, 13 Jun 2009 11:15:00 -0400

theduty:

office rumor.

Get to Know your co-workers, y’all. I’m...

Mon, 01 Jun 2009 15:44:14 -0400

Get to Know your co-workers, y’all.

I’m “Delusions of efficiency,” so nice to meet you.

malty:

The Workforce

For those who have worked in a office

Memo: Attn: All Naughty Non-Profit Employees RE: Ball...

Wed, 01 Apr 2009 17:09:01 -0400

Memo:

Attn: All Naughty Non-Profit Employees

RE: Ball Crushing

Janice will be on temporary leave of absence while she attends a two month anger management seminar. Aaron will be wearing a testicle brace for the next few months, just in case Janice returns early.

Back to work.

-The Management

seafra:

This is how I feel right now.

Attn: All Naughty Non-Profit Employees Date: April 1, 2009 RE:...

Wed, 01 Apr 2009 10:03:00 -0400

Attn: All Naughty Non-Profit Employees

Date: April 1, 2009

RE: Massages

Free Massages In the conference Room!

Just kidding, if you go you will be reported for sexual harassment. This is a test. But it’s still tempting, right?

- NNP Management

Girl A: I was totally not putting out and guys just would NOT...

Fri, 27 Mar 2009 14:58:00 -0400

Girl A: I was totally not putting out and guys just would NOT stay over, or call me back

Girl B: [stirring coffee]

Girl A: So I put out…ALOT. I mean like every date, first date, last date, during dinner…

Girl B: Where’d the sugar go?

Girl A: And they still won’t stay.

Girl B: Thanks (for the sugar)

Girl A: It’s like I should just keep continuously having sex with them, so they, like, can’t escape.

Girl B: [walks away without a word]

Office Politics Illustrated: Know where you stand, or get left...

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 15:06:00 -0400

Office Politics Illustrated:

Know where you stand, or get left behind.

Fair Warning Wednesday via

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 16:47:26 -0400

Fair Warning Wednesday

via

Memo:

Sun, 08 Mar 2009 12:26:10 -0400

Attn: All Naughty Non-Profit Employees Date: March 8, 2009 RE: Boogers

birdgirl:

Some people in my office put their used tissues in the recycle bin.

I mean, thanks for trying, but it just doesn’t work that way.

Now I know why the recycle man wears gloves…

madyago: Something to remember in these tough economic...

Thu, 26 Feb 2009 19:12:05 -0500

madyago:

Something to remember in these tough economic times.
via

Equally important during these dark money times, learn to kill...

Thu, 26 Feb 2009 19:10:16 -0500

Equally important during these dark money times, learn to kill with office supplies.

via

Part I :

Dissemble the BIC Pen

Poke a hole in the center of the empty tube big enough for the end of the pen to fit.

Cut notches on both side of the pen tube to hold the rubber band in place

Insert the pen

Part II :

Tape the cloths pin to the writing end of the pencil so the part that pinches faces the eraser

Tape the bow down to the pencil on the eraser end so it shoots out past the eraser

Load the ink cartridge just like you do for the bow and pull it back so it clips into the cloths pin

(via madyago)

Public Naughty Non Profit Announcement

Tue, 27 Jan 2009 12:15:23 -0500

malty:

Dear coworker that makes me want to poke my eyes out,

You are right. We do have a differences in opinions. You think you are perfectly sane, where as I think you should be committed. Please don’t forget to take your pills.

Always,

Kaylinn

Water Cooler Gossip: I have a knack for predicting unlikely office hookups - some might say it is a gift

Tue, 06 Jan 2009 09:51:04 -0500

Nico: Remember that thing I told you would probably happen a couple weeks ago?
E: About [redacted]?
Nico:Yeah. Apparently it's in full swing. I had no idea that so many girls in the office were into fucking well below their station
E: This won't end well
Nico: Does it ever?

Some apologies for filling your dashboard with incessant tumbls,...

Mon, 05 Jan 2009 14:32:18 -0500

Some apologies for filling your dashboard with incessant tumbls, but I have been sitting on the ground outside my office for two and a half hours now, unable to get in because someone else has my keys and no one else decided to come to work today. I’m miffed, and my ass is numb.

"Thanks for the hot snowjob!"

Sat, 20 Dec 2008 20:48:04 -0500

““Thanks for the hot snowjob!””

- This is what the dancers say to the stage hands after every snow corps scene in the Urban Nutcracker as the stage hands make it snow buckets every night. It’s really catching on…especially after it snowed for real outside!

Innappropriate email sent to a co-worker

Mon, 24 Nov 2008 12:49:27 -0500

To [Redacted]: we work together. we dont talk much but we did 2 days in a row. today, you tucked in your shirt and were moving your hands in your jeans pockets. really want to see what you got in there.

(via)

Memo from Office Manager: Has anyone seen the new shipment of...

Tue, 18 Nov 2008 19:33:15 -0500

Memo from Office Manager: Has anyone seen the new shipment of rulers? If so, please return them to the supply closet.

P.S. Remember that Security is monitoring your work performance via the web cam? Yes, that includes you.

(via justo)

Memo from IT Guy: New computers are in! If you have any...

Tue, 18 Nov 2008 08:29:54 -0500

Memo from IT Guy: New computers are in! If you have any questions about set up please try to figure out the issue on your own first.

(via nrbd)

Memo from HR: Causal Fridays have been canceled. You can all...

Sun, 16 Nov 2008 23:46:17 -0500

Memo from HR: Causal Fridays have been canceled. You can all thank Shaquanda.

Memo from HR: Re: Office Fitness Program by Licky Ladies:...

Thu, 13 Nov 2008 00:14:39 -0500

Memo from HR: Re: Office Fitness Program by Licky

Ladies: dresses are optional, but strongly encouraged

Gents: dresses are optional, but strongly encouraged

(via lickystickypicky)

afghanistanbananastand: Sending out the memo now, so everyone...

Wed, 12 Nov 2008 12:09:13 -0500

afghanistanbananastand:

Sending out the memo now, so everyone remembers to dress sexy.

No tighty whities, either.